


Falling for him... twice (Rewritten)

by sabertoothshadow



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Some fighting, There shall be gay incest sex, canon character death, deal with it motherfuckers, more tags later probably
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-08
Updated: 2015-02-19
Packaged: 2017-12-10 19:04:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/789178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sabertoothshadow/pseuds/sabertoothshadow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave Strider is fucked up, he came to terms with this when he feel in love with his older brother, Broderick Strider.<br/>He didn't expect his life would turn out to be even more fucked up than even himself.<br/>Or that he'd play a game that ended the world.<br/>Or that it would kill Bro.<br/>Or that he would find a paradox clone of said sibling.<br/>Come to think of it he didn't expect a lot of things.</p><p>So whats a fucked up kid supposed to do when the game ends and Bro comes back?  Or when Dirk seems to not exist?<br/>--<br/><i>“Shut up!  Don’t call me that!  You’re not my Bro!  Stop acting like that just because you act like him and because you’re supposed to be a younger version of him makes you my brother, because you’re not!”</i><br/>--<br/><i>"Yes Rose, I am aware he's dead.  Thank you ever so much for bringing that back up because I really needed to be reminded of that."</i><br/>--<br/><i>TG: please exist dirk, please</i><br/>--<br/><i>"Fuck, I'm sorry, I'm pathetic, here I am crying my eyes over one fucked up relationship when your right here for me, perfectly healthy and alive and not dead and I'm sorry."</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Paradox Space Sucks

**Author's Note:**

>   
>  **  
>  _“Shut up! Don’t call me that! You’re not my Bro! Stop acting like that just because you act like him and because you’re supposed to be a younger version of him makes you my brother, because you’re not!” Dave fumed, his glare easily burning through both their shades and into the orange eyes of the other._   
>  **
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> **  
> _“I’m not trying to!” Dirk snapped back before calming himself. “I’m not trying to be you’re brother, okay? I’m sorry if I seem like him but get over it because you’re not even giving me a fucking chance here.” He said; keeping the cool Dave had so obviously lost. Dave knew he was being harsh, knew it wasn’t fair to Dirk. But every move the other made reminded him of his dead Bro. Even right now as he kept his cool while Dave had lost it._  
> **  
> 

Paradox space is stupid.  Dave was sure of this as he sat in his room on their meteor home, starring up at the steel grey ceiling.  He didn’t want to meet this ‘Dirk’ character.  A cheap, paradox clone rip off of his Bro.  His  _dead_  Bro.  He’d thought he was finally getting over the death of the man who raised him but as the clone came closer and closer to meeting them it became very obvious that he wasn’t over it.  If he was he won’t care that he was being forced to meet a 16 year old copy of his brother, or maybe he’d just piled a bunch of shit over the thoughts of Bro and now the existence of Dirk was quickly going through that pile to get to the core of everything and make Dave’s heart ache with longing for his dead family member.

Paradox space is stupid and Dirk is stupid and this whole meeting thing is stupid.

Rose would tell him that he was acting childish by blaming Dirk.  It wasn’t his fault.  But Dave really couldn’t care less.  He hated Dirk.  Dirk wasn’t his Bro.

A knock on the door called Dave out of his thoughts, interrupting the intense glaring match he was having with the ceiling.  If looks could kill Dave probably wouldn’t have a ceiling anymore.

“What?”  He called.

“Figured you should fucking know that they’re here.”  A rough voice called back as a nubby horned, short, grey alien opened the door.

“Don’t wanna go.”  Dave stated.

“Strider, we are not having this conversion again.  You don’t have a choice.  You have to fucking meet him and there is no getting out of it.  Just try to be at least a little fucking nice.  I know you’re human mind is too unevolved to feel any more than one emotion at any given time but just pretend you don’t hate the guts of a nooksniffer you haven’t even fucking meet yet.”  The troll ranted, sighing.

“The only way to do that is to just not come, Karkles.”  Dave said matter-of-factly.

“You’re going.  It’s bad enough Rose is drunk off her fucking ass; I am not letting you not show up.  At least go meet John.  I thought that idiot was you’re best friend or some shit.”  ’Karkles’ groaned.  ”and don’t call me Karkles, my name is Karkat, remember moron?”  Karkat added in annoyance.  Dave sighed, getting up and walking over to Karkat, who started leading the human towards the main room.

“I thought this whole moirail-alien-quadrants-bullshit thing meant we were best friends Karkat.”  Dave stated as he followed, hands in his pockets.  

“Yeah… but John’s here now so I’m assuming you’d want to go back to being his fucking best friend, or moirail or whatever you fucking humans call it.”  Karkat muttered, slumping forward, his shoulders coming closer to his body slightly as he walked, making him seem that much smaller.  Dave never got how he managed to do that, although the tall, lanky blonde teen probably couldn’t look small even if he tried.

“Karkat.”  Dave sighed, hugging the smaller male.  ”Do I have to shosh pap, or whatever it’s called, those thoughts out of you?  Just ‘cause John and Jade are here doesn’t mean I stop caring about you.  I’m going along with your fucking weird ass alien quadrant shit because of you, if that doesn’t scream best bros I don’t know what does.  Okay?”  He said, resting his head on the black mess of hair in between Karkat’s horns.  Said troll sighed, nodding.

“Okay.”  He replied.  Dave didn’t think Karkat was actually convinced and would have gone on more about it but they had already reached the unavoidable main room which no housed 6 new humans.

“This is stupid.”  Dave muttered as he saw the person that could be no one other than Dirk.  The most obvious give away was those damn shades Bro had always claimed were completely anime, but Dave could tell even in the way he held himself, the slight smirk-smile he had on as he talked to a John look a-like.  He wasn’t wearing the hat that ever seemed to give Bro hat hair but instead had a picture of a hat on his t-shirt that Dave told himself wasn’t half as cool, only Dave was lying it was so much cooler, but his hair was still the same gold-ish colour and his skin had the same tanned appearance, maybe Dirks was a little darker.  Dave’s heart felt like it was pulling itself apart, both hate of this impostor and love of the man he was so much like fighting for control.

“Just try to be nice.”  Karkat said, walking off to talk to Kanaya.  Dave sighed and looked around, try to spot a certain blue-eyed derp.

“Dave!”  Speak of the devil.  Dave was quickly tackle hugged to the ground by the exclaiming black-haired boy. 

“Hey John.”  Dave smiled a little as his long-time friend.  He couldn’t help but notice how Dirks eyes fall on him the same moment John had said his name, even though the shades.

“Oh my god it’s so awesome to see you!!!!!!!  I’ve missed so much!  You have to meet the others!  Their all so awesome!  It was kinda weird having both Nannasprite and Jane around at first but it was pretty cool after a little while.  Do you think Karkat’s still mad over the whole bucket thing?  Do you have any idea what’s up with trolls and buckets?  Enough about that, how’ve you been for the past 3 years?!”  John spoke a mile a minute, making Dave chuckle a little.

“Calm down there chatterbox, I can barely understand you.”  Dave chuckled, making John stop; blushing a little.

“Sorry.”  He said.  ”Oh!  You have to come meet Dirk!  He’s really cool!”  John added with a wide grin.  Dave bit his lip slightly.

“Nah, maybe later, I’d rather catch up with you and Jade.  Where is Jade?”  He said.  Mission avoid Dirk is a go.

“She’s talking to Jake and Dirk right now, come on lets go say hi!”  John grinned, dragging Dave over.  Mission avoid Dirk has failed miserably.

“Hey Dave!”  Jade said; interrupting who Dave assumed must be Jake.  

“Sup Harley.”  Dave smiled a little, welcoming the girl as she wrapped her arms around him.  

“I’m so glad you’re alive!”  The green eyed girl said softly.  That’s right, last time they’d meet he’d died.

“Better than that, I’m a god.”  Dave said cockily.  ”As every other human appears to be.”  He added; chuckling a little and making Jade laugh a little.

“My, who is this young chap?”  Jake asked, fixing his glasses back to their place over his dark forest green eyes.

“Oh!  Right!”  Jade said, pulling away from the hug so they could all see each other probably.  ”Dave, this is Jake and Dirk, Jake and Dirk this is Dave Strider.”  Jade smiled.

“Oh!  Another Strider, why I bet you’re every bit the cool kid Dirk here is.  It’s nice to meet you.”  Jake smiled, holding out his hand to shake.  Although Dave hated that Jake had related him to the impostor that stood next to them, he took the hand.

“Nice to meet you too Jake.”  Dave said simply, keeping his poker face on.

“Sup dude.”  Dirk greeted with a small smile.  The same kind Bro used to give him.  Dave clenched a hand into a fist, barely able to kept anger from his face.  Dirk had also held out his hand but Dave ignored it, nodding in Dirks direction.  

“Dirk.”  He said simply, feeling somewhat proud at the way Dirk’s face dropped a little at the harsh treatment.  John seemed to pick up on the ill vibe Dave was sending Dirk, or maybe he just noticed the tension in the room.

“Oh, Dave!  You have to introduce me to Karkat.”  John said, pulling Dave away.

 

* * *

Dave sighed as he all but collapsed onto his bed.  Wow.  Who knew listening to Egbert talk endlessly and catch up would ever be so tiring.  His eyelids felt heavy and he just wanted to sleep.  Fate obviously had other ideas though as a knock reached his ears.

“Go away.”  Dave said.  “Trying to sleep.”   Whoever it was didn’t listen as Dave heard the door open.  Forcing himself to open an eye to see whoever it was.  Dirk stood in the door way, platinum blonde hair shining slightly in the dim light of the meteor.  Great, just Dave needed right now.  More reminds of his dead brother from a cheap rip off of said dead brother. 

“What do  _you_  want?”  He said, glaring at Dirk though his shades.

“I want to know why you hate me so much.  What the hell did I do wrong?”  Dirk said with that same affirmative tone. 

“None of your business.”  Dave said, annoyed.  “Go away already, I’m trying to sleep.” 

“It is my business!  We only just meet, how the hell can you already hate me?!”  Dirk growled a little.

“Uh… I’m not fucking interrupting anything… am I?”  The rough voice of a familiar troll had Dave thanking his moirail mentally for his timing. 

“No, you’re not, Dirk was leaving.  Come on in Karkles.”  Dave said before Dirk could talk.  Karkat rose an eyebrow at you but shrugged, walking past Dirk and into the room. 

“This conversion isn’t over.”  Dirk stated.

“Yes, it is.  Close the door on the way out.”  Dave said, watching the annoyed blonde leave the door.  Although no one else would notice any more than in the way Dirk slammed the door, Dave could tell Dirk was pissed and it make him smirk in victory.

“You should give him a fucking chance.”  Karkat sighed, taking his shoes off and getting into the bed with Dave, cuddling up to the taller teen.  It was a habit the two had gotten into; Kanaya had said it was a moirail thing, kind of like how best friends might share a bed at a sleep over or something. 

“I am way too tired for this conversion.”  Dave replied, rolling his eyes.

“Than just agree with me and try to be nice to him, will you.”  Karkat told him. 

“No thanks.”  Dave said, snuggling up with Karkat, ready to sleep.  Karkat sighed in defeat, also tired, and reached to grab Dave’s shades off his face.  It wasn’t something he let just anyone do.

“At least stop falling asleep in your shades.”  Karkat said, placing the shades on the bedside table and inspecting Dave’s ruby red eyes.  “You should just stop wearing them completely, you have amazing eyes.” 

“Heh, no can do Karkat, the universe just can’t take the awesome that is Dave Strider’s brilliant eyes.”  Dave said, closing said eyes.

“Mhmm, cause that’s totally how you feel about them.”  Karkat said, rolling his eyes.  “Sleep well Strider.”  He added, kissing Dave’s forehead; another moirail thing apparently.

“You too Karkles.”  Dave hummed, soon failing asleep.

 

* * *

In his dreams all he could think of was Bro.  It wasn’t that unusual really, some nights he would just dream of memories within his dream bubbles.  But rarely did the dreams involving Bro involve the real Bro.  Instead it was the Bro in his mind. 

Tonight it was the Bro in his mind.

They were sitting in the lounge room; Dave was on Bro’s lap playing some video game and ruling at it.  Of course he had to rule at it, Bro was watching. The two of them had recently finished their usual strife and Bro was running his hand along a wound Dave had received, it was a deeper one than usual and had been given at Dave’s own fault.  He’d moved the wrong way and that was the price.  But Bro was freaking out over it and had already apologized a thousand or two times.  Not with actual words, that just wasn’t how they were.

“Bro, its fine.  I’m fine.”  Dave sighed picking up on the unspoken concern.  Sure he had needed stitches, and it was painful, but he didn’t want Bro to worry.

“It hurts still, doesn’t it?”  Bro said.  It did.  But Dave wasn’t going to admit it.

“I’m fine.”  Dave said.  “Stop worrying already.”

“But-“  Bro was cut off by Dave pressing their lips together.

“I’m fine, promise.  If you still need convincing you can make it up to me later.”  Dave said with a little smirk.  A moment later that smirk was returned.

“Why don’t I just make it up to ya now?”  Bro smirked, flipping them over so that he had Dave pinned down on the couch.  Dave blushed darkly.

“Bro.”  Dave whined.  “My game.”  He said.

“It’ll be there when we’re done.”  Bro smirked, kissing Dave again deeply.  Dave blushed darkly as he kissed back, his arms wrapping around his guardians neck and pulling him closer.

 

The memory faded, much to Dave’s dislike, and merged into another one.  This one was more recent.  It was the most recent in fact.  Dave was faced with his brother, a sword shoved through his stomach. 

“H-hey little man.”  Bro said, weakly as Dave run to his side.

“No, no this isn’t happening.”  Dave muttered to mostly himself as a hand came up, wiping away a tear that had fallen past Dave’s shades.

“Shush Dave; don’t cry on me, okay?  You gotta be strong.”  Bro’s voice was weak and strained.

“You can’t be dying on me.  Don’t die on me, I need you, you can’t die on me.”  Dave said, letting out a sob.

“Dave, listen to me.”  Bro said as firmly as he could, Dave looked over to him, meeting the others shades.  “Its… it’s gonna be okay, you just got to stay strong.  Do for me, okay?”  Bro said breathlessly.  Dave bit his lip, but nodded.

“I-I will.”  He said, barely keeping himself from sobbing or crying.

“Good.”  Bro said, breaking into a coughing fit.  “I love you, always remember that.”  He added, barely audible.

 

“I love you too Bro.”  Dave said; pressing his lips to Bro’s, who kissed back weakly before his breath faded completely.  Dave felt his tears fall off of his cheeks and onto Dirks lifeless ones.

Dave awoke with a start, his breath heavy.  Karkat was staring at him with concern.

“Dave?  You okay?”  Karkat asked, worried.

“F-fine.”  Dave stuttered. 

“Lair.”  Karkat said, hugging the other.  “You talk in your sleep.”  He told Dave as the taller boy buried his head into the crook of Karkat’s neck.

“I miss him.”  Dave muttered.

“I know.”  Karkat replied softly. 

“I didn’t want him to die.”  Dave said, letting out a sob.

“No one wanted anyone to die.”  Karkat nodded, hugging Dave closer as the taller boy gripped tightly at the back of Karkat’s top, sobs shaking through his body as Dave cried into Karkat’s shoulder.  Karkat had been a little shocked the first time he’d seen Dave cry, and Dave had been shocked when he first saw Karkat cry, but both of them knew better than to mock each other.  Both of them had sat there and comforted the other, letting the tears soak through their tops. 

Karkat did that now again, rubbing Dave’s back softly. 

“I just want this game to be over.”  Dave said, finally calming down enough to speak. 

“There’s no promise that it’ll bring him back.”  Karkat said softly, hesitating slightly.

 

“I know.  But it’s the only chance I’ve got.”

* * *

 

 

More time went on as the larger team tried to find a way to beat Lord English and the more time that went on the more team Dave was forced to spend with Dirk.  Usually it was Rose that paired them up for tasks and Dave tended to glare at his innocent acting sister. 

Now was one of those times.  Dave was sitting as far away as he could from Dirk while they studied the books once more for any hint of how to beat him while Rose was off somewhere doing god knows what.

Well, not god knows what, because Dave was a god and didn’t know what but the point still stood. 

Dirk had tried a few times to start a conversion, apparently he didn’t seem to be getting that Dave didn’t want to be around him, but each time Dave had quickly brushed it off or just ignored Dirk completely.

A few more minutes passed and Dave was hyper aware of it as each seconded ticked passed, mocking him with the clock in his head.  Dave counted down the seconds until said clock would chime with the passing of an hour and the ending of his time working. 

Three… Two… One.

The chime sounded and Dave closed his book firmly, causing a rather loud thud, before turning towards the door.  Dirk followed suit behind him in a similar matter, letting out a sigh. 

Dave was aware of the other boy following him as he headed towards his room, and it annoyed the hell out of him.  When they neared the door to Dave’s room he finally snapped.

“Stop fucking following me.”  He snapped, trying to glare at Dirk, arms crossed in annoyance.

“Geez, over-reaction much.  Calm down bro.”  Dirk said, voice just as calm as Bro was.  No, not as calm.  Almost, but he didn’t have that kind of control over it.

“Shut up!  Don’t call me that!  You’re not my Bro!  Stop acting like that just because you act like him and because you’re _supposed_ to be a younger version of him makes you my brother, because you’re not!”  Dave fumed, his glare easily burning through both their shades and into the orange eyes of the other.

“I’m not trying to!”  Dirk snapped back before calming himself.  “I’m not trying to be you’re brother, okay?  I’m sorry if I seem like him but get over it because you’re not even giving me a fucking chance here.”  He said; keeping the cool Dave had so obviously lost.  Dave knew he was being harsh, knew it wasn’t fair to Dirk.  But every move the other made reminded him of his dead Bro.  Even right now as he kept his cool while Dave had lost it. 

 

“Just stay away from me!”  Dave growled, going into his room and slamming the door shut before Dirk had a chance to reply.  Dave sunk to the ground, curling in on himself.  “Damn it.”  He muttered.

Dirk stood in silent shook for a while, he was furious and upset and hurt all at once.  How could Dave just shut him out like that?  He’d heard a lot about the ‘cool kid’ Dave Strider from both Jade and John since he’d meet the two earlier than Dave and had been really looking forward to meeting the kid version of his older brother, and idle.  He’d wanted so bad to be close to Dave from the start, it was weird and probably uncool of him, only to find Dave wanted to be as far away from him as the other could manage.

Dirk had tried everything to spark a broship with Dave.  Even asked Rose to help him by giving them chores together.  But now he had just, both literally and theoretically, slammed the door in his face. 

“Sorry about him.”  Karkat sighed as he walked over. 

“Uh… how much of that did you see?” Dirk asked.

“Enough to know that Dave’s being an ass.”  Karkat answered.  “Don’t take it personally, it’s not actually you.” 

“It seems like it me.”  Dirk grumbled.

“No, it’s who you remind him of.”  Karkat sighed.

“Oh, cause that’s SO much better.”  Dirk replied sarcastically.

“Just give him some fucking space, okay?  He’ll come around when he stops acting like a fucking wriggler.”  Karkat rolled his eyes.  “And if that doesn’t work, try inviting him to do something you have in company.  There’s bound to be a fuckton of that.”  He added before walking into Dave’s room.

Dirk thought about that for a moment.  Maybe Karkat was on to something…


	2. Sooooooooooo

Okay guys so I decided to move accounts meaning that I won't be touching this account again.  On the up side I did rewrite this and have uploaded it both on my other account here: <http://archiveofourown.org/works/3392057/chapters/7422455> and on my tumblr here: <http://amuseandbored.tumblr.com/post/111456361465/if-you-were-him-and-he-was-you>

 

Going to, hopefully, start updating every week.  Pester me about it on the comment section of the story or on my tumblr.  


End file.
